Sunday 15 September 2013

that's it


That’s it.  There is too much new.  Too much time, too much space, too much free.  This moment as I try to strip myself of the old I’m scared that after all I gave away and all I wish to shed there will be nothing left of who I was to mix with the who I wish to be.
I fill the space between sleep with lists of subtle avoidance.  Slowing runs the risk of this novice juggler fumbling and the charade being up as it all crashes down.
Even this tree acknowledges me a stranger.My back does not fit in this place of still.  I have yet to stay long enough to align myself with it and the chill in the air encourages me to wrap tight myself, but Fine is a blanket of too few letters.

Wednesday 31 July 2013

favorite thing

Breathe the smell from when the rain has cleared but the heat has not quite been bullied away. You stretch your neck and roll the weight of the world off your shoulders. Breath those rare deep breaths the reach all the way to the bottom of your lungs. Each one lingering there as you feel your body healing itself from this life.

Thursday 14 March 2013

pass

On those days you can't bring yourself to speak. To push words out of your mouth would be betraying your own being. Breaking your own silence would be letting a part of you out. escape. You need every little bit of you just to keep yourself together.

When the thought of getting up out of your seat is frightening. When you would rather sit for an hour than wonder hopelessly about the house with a heavy feeling of lost in your stomach. That feeling of not wanting to be anywhere, knowing that is impossible, and waiting for it to pass. 


You will process the grief from the lost sunshine when you can find room for it in your lap. There are no tears, just a body weighed down by every primary emotion mixed in to make brown.

On those days, I will arch my back and speak up, not out.  So that my words rain back down to earth and settle on you.  Soak into your skin.  Words of love and hope and truth.

Then wait.  I can wait.

Tuesday 12 March 2013

rubber stamp


The danger is in believing this is all there is.  Projecting a ‘copy, paste, repeat’ view of the future.  Giving into the darkness.  Losing sight of the day.